Monday, April 24, 2017

I Had To Go Away For A Few Days

I had a Rheumy appointment with Dr. Eye Thursday morning at 9:00, and I didn't come back.  Until today.  I had a little mini-flare.  Just the usual, low grade fever, flu symptoms, lungs tender (but still no significant swelling....YAY me!!), just not feeling it.  Lots of chest pain now.

Much better today.  I think the pollen is beginning to wane.  Its time for it to be over now, generally by the time May rolls around, its all gone.  So if I can make it two more weeks, that's an entire pollen season without the usual mega-flare.  Un-believable. 

So, no significant lung swell.  I can't help but wonder, and I don't even like to say it out loud, because then its "out there", but I sure hope this isn't a "calm before the storm".  I'm going to be grateful, and not dwell on it.  I was very very anxious about this spring season, and I'm fine.  But that's the thing with Rheumatoid Disease, very unpredictable, and no two flares are exactly the same.  No two cases of RD in different individuals is exactly the same.  Take my hands for instance.  You've heard me say, the RD has never, ever bothered my hands.  And with most rheumy's, that's the first thing they look at, and the first thing they want to x-ray.  Look at the RD med commercials, what do they show you?  An x-ray of a hand with distorted digits, they always show the hands.  I read a comment in a forum once by an RD patient and she said that she had been told by a doctor that because it wasn't in her hands, then it wasn't RD/RA.   *cue deer in headlights look*.  See, sometimes WE have to school the doctors.  And you've heard me say, if you want to know what a particular disease is *really* like, ask someone who has it, don't ask a doctor.

Oh!  Dr. Eye did say that I am on more prednisone than any of her other patients.  ya'll, I came thisclose to asking "So does that mean I'm no longer "not nearly as bad off..." as your other interstitials?"  But I took the high road.  I like Dr. Eye, she's a very kind doctor, she listens to me.  She has a good bedside manner.  I wouldn't change now unless I was forced to.  She and Dr. G take good care of me.  There have been issues now and then, but that's to be expected I suppose.

So I'm back.  Feeling better.  So so ready to be done with this though.  Ready to not work anymore.  Crocheting and knitting my butt off, trying to keep occupied.  Trying not to dwell on family issues that I can't change, it is what it is.  The hubs and I heard The Oldest got married.  I heard it in town from a mutual acquaintance.  Can you believe that?  I head my son got married from somebody I ran into in town.  "I heard congratulations are in order!"  oh....I guess they did it then.  We don't do Facebook, and I heard it was out there.  I hope it works out, truly.  I wish them all the best.  But if she stays, she's going to have a long row to hoe.  And I hope she sticks to her guns and makes him get help.  Otherwise, she's in for misery.  I finished his Letter.  Just a few more to go, and I'll be all done with those.  I don't think he's going to like his letter, but I've held back for years, things that needed to be said.  Doesn't matter how hard you pour your heart out to a boarderline, they never see it that way.  I know.  I already tried with my mother.  But in death, maybe just maybe my death will make him understand, see things from our perspective.  I can only hope.  But then again he broke my hope.  I guess there's still a tiny speck of hope, lost in the crevasse of an empty, waterless well.  *sigh*  I love my son very much.  But anyway, lets move on or I'll cry again.

Son #2, don't see much of him, he's been on shift work 16 hour days.  He's a tig welder (whatever that is) for an "international paper processing plant" which means you probably can guess who he works for.  but anyway, such a good kid.  HA!  as I was writing this, he texted me "I love you mom, hope your are doing well this week"  <3  God, I love that kid.  He's going to be 23 on the 26th this month.  Hardly seems possible.  Here's a pic, I think he's about 9 in this one.  he was my sweetie.  He even told me one time when he was really little, that he wanted to be my boyfriend.  :) :)  so so sweet.

He's honest, down to earth, hard working.  Goal oriented, doesn't mind putting in the work to get where and what he wants.  22 years old, and just bought his first house.  2,300 square feet with a huge yard.  Bought a brand new truck too.  And without MY help.  Didn't ask me for a dime, didn't even ask me to co-sign anything.  I would have though.  I guess he was watching everytime his brother skimmed me.  This child here, never gave me even one moment of trouble.  I only ever got two phone calls from the school on him, and one of them wasn't even his fault.  I never had to worry about where he was or what he was doing.  He never did drugs, or hung out with a bad crowd.  This child was every parents dream kid.  I've always said, every parent should have at least one kid like this one.

Love you buddy!

Well, I suppose that's it for today.  Mini-flare is over, lets hope that's it for this season. XXX fingers crossed and all that.  Ya'll be sweet, and take care of you.

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