Monday, July 17, 2017

Crying just makes it worse

So Saturday was my birthday.  Technically, in some places on the globe, Saturday is the last day of the week.  Well, it was the last day of the week from Hell.  It just got worse after I got home from the hospital.

Everything was all cool till Wednesday I went to get in my car, and realized that when the Mr. cut the grass, evidently it threw a rock at my car, and shattered the back window.  $400 or there abouts.  Perfect, I'm buming rides again, or driving the tractor (the Mr.'s truck).  *sigh*  Then Saturday came.

My friend-girls took me out for Chinese Friday night, wonderful!  And they loaded me up with yarn store gift cards (they know what I like).  Then Saturday.......(It was my birthday)

I had to go to my friend Pam's house so she could give me my Humira injection because dummy-me forgot it Friday so the work-nurse could give it to me, and of course I forgot to take it with me to the Chinese place so Pam could do it there.  So I had to go to her house.  As I was leaving, I fell.  On her concrete drive way.  I fell hard.  Nobody was around, her curtains were drawn, nobody saw me.  And I just lay there for a minute to catch my breath.  My right knee felt like it was on fire, and my left lung took a punch too.  So much so, that by today, I figured I was wrong about the lung, and maybe I'd actually cracked another rib.  So I zipped (read:  bummed a ride) across the street to the walk in clinic.  No cracked/fractured/broken ribs.  Dr. there said they were really bruised, and I figure I was probably right in the first.  When I landed on my left side, it "accordianed" my lung (I felt it, it hurt), and now my lung is angry and flared up.  Hurts to breath.  hurts to cough, hurts to cry, hurts to talk.  Damn the only thing that doesn't hurt is to pee.  Sorry, I'm just really down today.

So walk-in-clinic-doctor is more concerned with what he says is a "mass" on my right lung, and "when was the last time  you had a CT?"  I started to laugh, and told him about the HRCT, the Echo, the EKG, the Arterial blood draw, the stress test, just to start, that I had just a week ago.  He was staggard.  Dr. G didn't say anything about a "mass".  He *did* say that the chronic plural effusion I've had for two years looks like its bigger and we may have to address another thoracentesis (Oh God please no, not again!), but Dr. G is at a conference in a land far far away this week, and I can't get to him until next Friday.  SO!  I'm not going to worry.  If Dr. G, and my cardiologist saw it, and were not concerned enough to "get right on this NOW", then I'm ok.  I really think its probably the effusion this young turk doctor is looking at.  And he IS young.  But anyway.  So, yeah, I fell and skint my knee up, and threw my left lung into a mega flare.  Its not over yet.........

Saturday evening - I get a snarky txt from son #1.  Another of his typical accusatory txt, accusing us of something we didn't do.  Let me put it short and sweet.  Dept. of Human Svc. Child Support Division, has finally caught up with him.   They sent the letter to my house.  Mr. called son #2 because we know they talk now and then, trying to get a mailing address for him to forward it, this was Tuesday last week the day after I got home from the hospital.  So Saturday, I get this txt saying that "I'd really appreciate it if you would stop opening my mail and discussing my private business with other people....blah blah blah".  I'd had enough.  usually I would not respond, but this time I did.

I told him, first of all, the damn letter is sitting right here, unopened, we never opened it, wouldn't do that.  Second, we didn't discuss his personal business with anybody other than his brother, and that was to attempt to get an address.  I  have enough of my own business to deal with, don't have time to be all up in your drama, been dealing with your drama since you were 12.  We don't even know where you live.  and further more "since you kicked us to the curb, remember, you don't "associate" with us, do me a big favor, don't ever text me again unless its to say "hi".  I  have nothing to discuss with you.  You made this bed, lie in it."  So then he text back trying to be the "good guy" so I look bad (Can you say "borderline"?  I saw my mother master that one), and he got all nice and ended saying God Bless and he was just "going by what he heard (and thought the worst of course because his dad and I are so evil!)  oh puleeeeeze.  Keep your fake humility!  You cuss me like a cur dog to my back and on facebook but God bless me???  I can NOT believe I gave birth to this child.  its like he's an alien.  Oh, he also responded ( I guess in response to my saying we don't know where he lives) "you and dad drove out here 2 years ago mom"  I said "Damn son, I know what city you live in, but you moved houses a month ago!  I can't just put your city on the envelope, bless it, and hope it gets to you!"  Yes he's my son.  And I will love him till I take my last breath, and my heart will never heal from the hurt he has caused me.  yes, I'm in a bad mood.  Sorry.

I've hurt for two days, I can barely breath, my youngest son who's my rock star, forgot my birthday, AND!!  To top it off today, the air conditioner in my house went out today, and its nearly 100 degrees Ferenhite (or however you spell it, I don't care at the moment, you get the picture).

And lastly, the replacement for me that was hired.....she backed out.  effing great.  wonderful.  fabulous.  If I drank, I'd have one today.

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